These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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