I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize