Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
