so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
A+ Viking dick
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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