yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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