I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
