did you get engaged???
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
