Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
