I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
