If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize