He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
