its not stalking. its research.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
