Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
