Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
