Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
