On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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