Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
