Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
