i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
