Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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