I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
