Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
