the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize