Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
