My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize