i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
