He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
