would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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