So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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