Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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