so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
