Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
