I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize