normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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