Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
my shit smells like andre
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
