I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
