hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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