found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
