So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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