it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
