im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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