There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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