You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
