Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize