I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
