some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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