there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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