All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize