i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
