I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize