Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
