she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
