their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
