my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
