She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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