I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
