Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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