the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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