wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
