Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
