I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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