at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
