There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
