he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Randomize
